I awoke the next morning later than I should have if I was ever to get to class on time. You'd think classes would be scheduled for later in the day, considering there were so few of us.

Breakfast would have to be deleted from that morning's schedule.

I hurried across campus to the classroom we were to meet in for that morning's history lesson. I didn't wear a watch, so I didn't know exactly how late I was, but could have easily been five minutes. Or more.

I shoved the door open and as I did so, all eyes turned to look at me. I entered, mumbling a hasty apology to Cassidy and taken an open seat near the back of the room, as far away from everyone as I could possibly be. It wasn't my assigned seat, but I just wanted minimal contact.

Jono glanced over at me from across the room, worried.

I ignored him.

(*I'm sorry about yesterday,*) he apologised.

Yeah, sure. Whatever. I opened my notebook and the heavy history text, concentrating on the information contained within its pages. Was he still looking at me? I allowed myself a glance up and found that he was, apology in his soft brown eyes. I felt my own features soften into something of a smile -- he meant it. ~forgiveness~, though, turned to crisp ~suspicion~ as another query came to mind ... what about Paige? Why on earth had he ... and she ...

(*I'll talk to you after class,*) he promised.

I nodded almost imperceptably. After class? Could I wait until then? History droned on forever -- it wasn't that Cassidy, or even the content, was boring, but I was tired and worried and nervous and a whole myriad of things all at once. Maybe, even, for the first time in days, feeling something hopeful for once.

Maybe.

***

Finally, Cassidy's lecture ended and we were allowed a break before he returned for the next class. Trying to be inconspicuous, and my heart racing, I walked across the room to where Jono stood -- waiting for me?

"You said you were going to ... talk to me?" I asked quietly. The volume was unnecessary; it was inevitable that everyone would notice I was actually speaking to him. I didn't care. He was the one who wanted to talk to me, not the other way around.

Right.

*Yes,* he replied. *About ... that.*

Just "that"?

Oh, that. I sat down at a nearby desk. Jono's ~uncertainty~ was plain before he finally settled on the proper words. *Like I said before, she's my friend.*

I almost snorted, except that would have been extraordinarily embarrassing. Instead I chuckled brusquely. "Of course," I commented.

*It isn't like that,* he continued, catching my meaning. *We're friends. That's all.*

"That's all?" I echoed. "Are you sure you don't mean me?"

*It ... we ... there was the potential, but it never really happened.*

I could have sworn Paige was looking right at me. But with my back to the rest of the class, I didn't know for sure -- empathy was erratic during these strange conversations. "But you were so -- last ni --"

*I was trying to tell 'er about the ... about this.*

So there was a this!

~skepticism~ *I'm not sure what 'this' is,* he admitted.

"But -- but it's -- it's --"

*Yes, it's there.*

Something was there. I became aware of my own hands shaking. Had they been shaking this whole time?

*You're a friend,* Jono reminded me. And that was all. For now. I didn't know if that would change, and neither did he, but that was a concern for the future. Now was good.

"But ... she knows about ... " /the link?/ I finished.

Jono nodded.

"And she's ... " /okay with this?/

*Can't tell.* He was worried about her, though. I was okay with that. Friends did worry about one another. I couldn't help feeling jealous, though, despite any confirmations of "this". Or maybe that was the ~jealousy~ I felt from her regarding me and I only confused her emotion as my own.

"Please have a seat," Cassidy instructed. I hadn't even heard him come back in. I didn't move back to the faraway desk I'd originally sat in, content to remain here. Besides, a seat was a seat.

A soft knock sounded on the door and Frost strode decisively into the classroom before Cassidy could respond. "May I help ye, woman?" he inquired.

"Yes ... " she answered, her voice trailing off into Light above only knew where. She was giving me that look again -- that same curious look she gave me last night. She surprised me, though, by gesturing for me to come forward. Nervous, I went to the front of the room. I hated these "discussions" with Frost, and would rather be in class. I would rather be anywhere than "discussing" things with Emma. A sinking feeling settled in the pit of my stomach as she also motioned for Jono. Oh, Light what was this?

(*She knows,*) Jono informed me privately.

I swallowed hard. I'd figured as much. Maybe, I hoped, it was something else. It was always possible.

Possible, I reminded myself, but not very probable.

(*She's going to cut it.*)

His psionic words hit me hard -- like a dead weight. I was worried -- worried, nervous, and scared -- but Jono added some morose sentiment to that. Knowing that the link would be severed -- I felt like Emma was some white-costumed executioner and I was headed for my death.

Our death.

As if in some response to these fears that flooded my mind, Jono's cool fingers touched my own, sending along some sort of ~comfort~ -- or was that the emotion I sent him, taking his hand and squeezing it hard?

(*It'll be okay,*) he assured me.

I wondered how that could possibly be when it was the same fate that awaited both of us -- of course he minded the initial set up, but didn't he also mind the link's termination?

An eerie, oxymoronic ~confidence~ began to stream steadily from him, and if he could have, he would have been grinning wildly. What? But my questions went unanswered, confusing me even more.

Emma opened the door to her office. I didn't want to go in there. But I had no choice.

Jono strode forward, unafraid and defiant.

I still didn't want to go in there. I lingered in the doorway. Emma glared -- Best to go in before she forced me in there. Resigning myself to the situation, I entered and sat on the couch beside Jono -- not too close, though.

But I wasn't even sure if I was in trouble. Of course I was in trouble. And now she really was going to call home and tell my parents what had happened and then they'd want to meet "this Jonothon guy" and they wouldn't like him for all the exact reasons that I did and then some and then Emma was going to cut this link and I didn't want her to do that!

(*Don't worry, luv. Everything's under control.*)

No, it was not! He probably just wanted to be rid of me. Well, fine. If that's what he wanted,there was no need to keep this unnecessary link. And I could just go away.

Emma's cool voice brought me from my thoughts. "I am, as I'm sure you both know by now, aware of the psychic rapport that exists between you two. I am ... interested ... in knowing how such a thing occurred. However, no child of your age is psychologically prepared to handle such a thing. It must be taken care of. Lower your shields."

I kept my shields firmly in place.

"If you do not lower your shields, I assure you this will hurt. It would be so much easier if this were a pleasant experience for all of us."

She was lying -- this would never be pleasant. Not to me.

*Do as she says, Jen.*

"No!" I surprised even myself with my vehement exclamation.

But Emma wasn't stupid. And she was much more experienced than I was, and so much stronger than I would ever be. The force of her probe tore through my mind as she tossed my weak shields away like so much rubbish. I wanted to scream, to tense, but my body remained limp and unmoving. The freight train rolled through my brain until it hit a wall with terrible force.

Wall?

I hadn't --

~anger~

but I hadn't --

~ANGER~

"-- I didn't!" I exclaimed.

Jono's ~satisfaction~ rolled in waves masked by a thin veil of transparent ~indifference~.

"Jennifer, leave," Emma instructed.

I couldn't move. My head hurt. But slowly, the feeling came back to my body and I stood. Jono, too, started to follow me out of the office.

"No, Jonothon," Emma said, vexed, "you stay here."

He offered ~apology~, the emotion in his eyes helpless. Choices were easily made when they were pre-arranged.

I waited outside the door, having neither the desire nor the order to return to Cassidy's class. The only emotions I received from Jono were alternate ~defiance~ and ~satisfaction~ -- sometimes ~amusement~. That was a good sign, right?

But he was still a student, and Emma still held authority over him. That, I was certain, would be the deciding factor in how this situation would end and --

-- well. Well, wouldn't life just ... go on?

Of course it would. Life would still keep plugging along at an astonishing rate of normalcy, whether I had Jono in my head -- whether I had him at all -- or not. And what about when this ended? All relationships, all things eventually end. I wouldn't want that sort of constant contact then.

No matter how much I wanted it now.

It wasn't even that I'd had a crush on him -- that I'd "liked him" like that. I'd lived life alone before coming here. Time had gone by and I hadn't had enough to spare for friendship. Add to that my reputation of "psycho" and there was no way I would have any sort of relationship with anyone.

I imagined Jono's life -- since his powers manifested -- had been much the same. Though in his case, it wasn't a matter of time or reputation -- just a deep, abiding hatred of himself. I hoped that could be changed. And though I'd tried to change it myself, I didn't care who actually opened his eyes as long as his view of himself became more positive. He wasn't a terrible person.

I sensed Jono approaching before he actually opened the door. Again, I caught the distinct impression of a wild, almost maniacal grin.

"What happened?" I wondered, eager and very confused.

*She gave me a lecture,* he replied, starting down the hallway -- presumably back to the classroom.

A lecture? That was all? "What did you do?" I heard myself say. "I mean, why ... Are we in trouble?"

*Probably,* he admitted with certain humour.

"What? What did you do?" I repeated.

*I put a lock on it,* he explained. *Yer don't need to worry about Frost gettin' in your head, anymore.*

What was that for? Just so she couldn't --?

Jono increased his stride to pass me up in the hallway. I ran to catch up with him, but he paid no attention to the fact that I was even there. So I stopped and fell behind.

I didn't get it.

He turned around slowly. *Jen -- * he began.

"What?"

*Just take it for what it's worth.*

For what it was worth. He'd used that phrase before. I nodded -- but I lingered in the hallway, watching the back of his leather-jacketed form retreat. Away from me.

What was it worth?

I couldn't go back to class now. Not if I were to pay any kind of attention.

Instead I went back upstairs, back to the bathroom that still carried scars from the wounds I'd inflicted upon it. Class didn't matter. Nothing mattered. I knew it wasn't the end of the world. There were plenty of other people out there.

But none of them were Jono. I hadn't seen anyone else the way I'd seen him.

And it certainly felt like the end of the world, no matter how many times I tried to convince myself it wasn't. And these tears weren't going to solve anything. I grabbed a fresh washcloth and ran it under the faucet, letting the hot water soak into the cloth and spill over my hands. I brought the soaking rag to my face and inhaled the steam it gave off.

So that was that. Jono wanted to be as far away from me as possible and the world would keep on spinning. I -- spinning. I sat on the tile floor, my face buried in the wet rag. The world kept spinning beneath me and it was starting to make me dizzy. Why did I keep thinking things would suddenly change?

(*Sometimes things do change.*)

That wasn't me talking.... It still scared me when Jono appeared with complete thoughts instead of the plain emotions I was so used to.

(*Well, I can hear every word.*)

Everything -- he knew everything I felt. I knew that and yet I tried to deny it, feeling so free to emote whatever I wanted. I felt so naked. And it hurt inside -- I was so --

(*Violated.*)

Yes, violated.

And that was why he shielded his thoughts so closely. I wasn't a telepath, but I would be able to read him as though I were unless he kept a close guard on his mind.

(*Yer don't want to see wot I'm thinking.*)

And he knew that wasn't true. He knew full well what I wanted -- needed --

(*Here, then.*) A floodgate opened, and ~compassion~friendship~ shone through the black veil of Jono's predominant, darker emotions.

And his theories -- We hadn't ever built on those moments, only tore down the foundation every time we spoke to one another so we wound up at point zero. It was stupid to argue, and it was stupid to go back and forth. But no decisions ahd been made before; why should they be made now? Neither of us had a better idea -- or any idea, for that matter. It was a different sort of relationship, and thus, had to be treated differently.

But beyond that clinical analysis was the same ~compassion~. (*I do care about you,*) he confirmed.

I must have misread that emotion.

(*Why are you so certain nobody cares for you?*)

/Why are you the same way?/

~amusement~ -- from both of us, this time. I liked that -- I was a friend to him, maybe even a good one. But if that was the case, why was he always trying to avoid me?

(*I'm only going to wind up hurting you,*) he admitted, almost reluctantly. (*And ... and you don't need that.*)

Well, I'd had enough pain myself sometimes, without anyone's help. I'd withstood the pain being "psycho" had brought -- I could handle this. Besides, he couldn't hurt me ... pain came from miscommunication, from lies, from any number of things that just weren't possible in this case.

And there was no avoiding each other, despite any previous efforts either of us had made to do so. Because he was with me. And I was with him.

(*And it isn't so bad.*)

Frustrating, and confusing, but no -- not so bad. Not so bad at all.

I wanted to draw this moment out as long as I possibly could, enjoying the touch of mind on mind and the quiet comfort Jono's presence gave -- albeit from a distance.

(*Do you want to come back to class, now?*)

Not really. But I didn't see why not. After ringing out the washcloth and drying my face, I went back to the classroom. All eyes and emotions fixed on me as I entered: Paige's glare, Monet's ~disapproval~, Everett's ~confusion~, Jubilee's ~curiosity~, Alison's ~concern~, Angelo's ~indifference~ ... Jono's ~welcome~comfort~pride~.

"Is everything all right?" Cassidy asked me softly so the others might not hear.

I nodded. "Yeah. Sorry I'm late."

"The assignment is in chapter six; the questions are at the end of section two. Just the answers, ye don't need complete sentences."

I nodded again and took my seat.

(*Missed yer.*)

/Did not./

(*Did so.*) ~ :) ~

I almost laughed, opening the physics text to the end of chapter six, section two and preparing my paper with the proper header.

What, I wondered, happened now? Everything wasn't "okay", of course, because Emma still wanted to cut the link. And Jono and I -- neither of us were really sure what happened next. If this was ... if this was anything.

But it was a start, that much I knew.